The 5 Types of People You Need in Your Recovery are an important foundation to remaining abstinent. During my recovery journey with the help of members of Alcoholic Anonymous, I became more comfortable with letting people in and learned who was truly sincere.
What you need to hear not what you want to hear
The person that tells you what you need to hear versus what you want to hear truly is rooting for your success. This person loves you so much that they are willing to accept your anger at them if what they have to say is for your best interest. Have you heard of the term tough love? My clients would say this is calling people on their “shit,” when you care about them.
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This was the person who left me no choice but to take a look at myself when I could no longer run and hide from the truth that I needed help.
The person who is on the same journey
In early recovery, you may feel that you are the worst person and that your family, friends and for some God will not forgive you. Your mind just recycles all the hurt you have put on others. When you have a support network that includes another person in recovery it helps you identify that you are not unique. There are others who have traveled this road and they can give you guidance on how to “take one day at a time” improve your life and make amends to others who are willing to listen.
This is the person or people who will share his/her story with you. When you hear that there is a better way you begin to have hope. Hope supports your willingness to try versus staying in denial. My colleagues and I would discuss in groups with clients that isolating leads to identifying out of your problem. This is definitely something that comes up at 12 Step support meetings. Telling yourself that things are not that bad regardless of the negative consequences you are experiencing.
Unconditional Love
This is the person that believes in you and can visualize all that is possible for you even when you can’t. Every time you say you are going to stop even when you disappoint this person will not stop having faith. Now do not confuse this person with someone who will allow you to continue to abuse the relationship. This person if they get help for example from Alanon a support network for family and friends may stop giving you money and letting you in their home but will always be there for you when you are ready to get help.
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I was fortunate that my mother-in-law welcomed me with open arms when I came out of treatment. As long as I tried she was there for me. She used to say, “I am waiting for you.”
Those who support you even though they were not there
The longer you stay in recovery you will meet new people and development relationships. Those you become close to you find comfort in sharing your story and inviting them to your support group celebrations. These people respect your decisions to not drink alcohol or use other substances and they learn to not invite you to uncomfortable settings or at the minimum inform you that an event will not be a nonalcohol environment. A good read on this would be How to Navigate Social Events in Sobriety. Read more: Exercise Anywhere: No Need To Go To The Gym To Get In Shape
I rarely met a person who wanted to hear all the gory details of my active life. When I am asked I prefer to share about how blessed I am in recovery and state that is all that matters.
Key People in your Support Network
Your counselor and/or AA/NA sponsor will definitely be your go-to people. These are the people to make sure you have their phone numbers handy at all time. Also, don’t dismiss the power of getting together with your own sponsees. You don’t have to know it all and be invincible. When you need help another recovering alcoholic or addict is part of your foundation your sponsees are part of that foundation.
The 5 Types of People You Need in Your Recovery means you don’t have to be on this journey alone. You may have someone with you every step of the way. Also, there will be people who will get to know you that you never share your story with. Our goal in recovery is to “live life on life terms.” Meeting people and accessing relationships is what people do. In recovery, we just need to do a better job at it to keep ourselves safe from relapse.
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