How To Cope With Unrequited Love? In life, there is no greater pain and tragedy than watching someone you are in love with fall in love with someone else. There is no greater travesty than the stark realization of investing so much of your affections on one person only to have them unreturned and unrequited.
This has become a very much relatable reality that in fact, it is a staple formula of most romantic comedies or romcoms per se and teenage romance flicks. In these stories, girl meets boy by some haphazard and usually comical encounter and as the story builds its tempo, one of them falls in love with the other while the other is fixated on someone else. Finally, as the story reaches its climax, the one who has fallen in love confesses only to be turned down– but of course, this is Hollywood and happy endings are crucial to a movie’s success. So at the film’s denouement, our two protagonists would soon find each other again and have that much sought for happy ending.
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| How To Cope With Unrequited Love |
But this is not a Hollywood movie, and life does not always have happy endings. No matter how glamorized unrequited love is on literature and films, the painful truth is that not everyone gets the girl and not everyone gets their own romantic ending.
The world offers an unsympathetic and rather ironic reality wherein you might just have to be happy that you can regard someone you have fallen in love with as your friend yet sad at the same time because that is all they will ever be. In our lives, we have to accept that not everyone we are going to fall in love with is going to love us back, in the same way, we want them to. As the metaphor goes, sometimes Cupid only has enough arrows to pierce one heart and not two. Read also: 4 Reasons Conflict With Your Lover Can Be Good.
How To Cope With Unrequited Love
Unrequited love may be a reality but this does not mean that you are doomed to suffer a perpetual heartache should you encounter this feeling. Remember, unrequited love offers each individual a multitude of lessons as well as a closer introspection of one’s self which in essence gives you a definitive grasp of what you want in a relationship. So, if you find yourself in a similar situation of having your amorous feelings unreturned, read on below on the various ways you can cope.
1.) Get Your Head Out of the Gutter
Sometimes, we tend to cling to our unrequited feelings because we have been entertaining thoughts that are far too implausible to become a reality. We fixate ourselves on a single person because we tend to overthink and take their simple actions for validations of our feelings. These hopeful thoughts may give us brief comfort and joy, but it keeps us permanently stuck. Remember, the object of your affections may just be doing nice things for you (such as offering you a glass of water or opening the door for you) because he or she was just born nice. If your thoughts would cause you anxiety and would tend to confuse you, then directly ask them for yourself and put those “what if” thoughts to rest.
Read more: 4 Simple Steps on How to Keep the Love Alive
2.) Get to know them
When we are in love, we tend to look at everything through a rose-colored glass. We idealize our crushes and romanticize them to the point of overlooking some obvious drawbacks and bad habits. But try to keep a clear head when you are trying to get to know them, observe them and realize that nobody is perfect. In this way, you might just find some things about your crush that are deal breakers for you and would assist you in curbing your mounting affections for them.
Read more: 8 Repulsive Characteristics That Will Push Your Lover Away
3.) Isolate yourself
As the saying goes, “out of sight, out of mind”. Try to distance yourself from your crush and enjoy other things you want to do. This includes social media, do not actively stalk them and be on the lookout for updates. Remember, your life does not have to revolve around your crush. Go out, smell the roses and try to meet new people. Do not look for excuses to bump into them and for the time being, distance yourself from them.
4.) Accept that getting hurt does not need to be rationalized
Dealing with unrequited love may be a lot harder than dealing with a breakup because you always get that nagging feeling at the back of your head that you are not entitled to feel the feelings you are having. Remember, no matter the circumstance it is always okay to feel hurt even without having your feelings validated. You do not need to justify why you are hurt because the reality is, you are only human. You need no sort of vindication for those feelings, no matter what anyone says. You are entitled to get hurt, even if it cannot be fully rationalized.
Read more:
- This Will Help Take Your Relationship To Another Level
- 10 Small And Simple Things For A Happy Marriage
5.) Enjoy being single
Being in a relationship might be swell and all but do consider that there are a lot of upsides to being single too. Call your friends and enjoy a night in town, there are so many possibilities as to what you can do and this can even be a good opportunity to try meeting someone new.
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